‘about 162,000,000 results (0.63 seconds)’

anxiety-charlie-brown…that’s what Google delivered back to me after I asked it about Anxiety.

On the second search it delivered About 162,000,000 results (0.45 seconds) – same amount of anxiety info but at an even quicker mind-blowing speed.

I’m sat here looking at that figure, trying to recall how we set about finding information before the days of the interpipes. You would ask a family member or visit a library or ask Joe down the pub.

I’d ask my mum about anxiety but she is no longer with us. Given that my mum was a worrier of having nothing to worry about – she may not be the best place to start, even if I had access to her through a medium.

The anxiety that interests me – or rather, follows me around, isn’t the type that we have when facing an interview or attending a hospital. No, these are very real and valid events. The type that interests me is made up, unreal, not yet/may not happen events.

Worrying about something that hasn’t happened. How nuts is that!

Why do some people have the ability to not worry about anything ‘until it happens’. Even then, not worry if they can’t do anything to change it. Yet others (I’m in the others’ group) worry at will. It’s not a great group to be in.

What do I worry about? Terrorism, illness, harm coming to my cats, losing my husband – the list could become endless if I didn’t try and slap some brakes on it at times.

I recall a London underground trip a few weeks back – a lad was sitting at one end of the bench looking at another lad at the other end. Both lads had their mobiles in hand, earphones in. These lads did fit the ‘profile’, dark skin, rucksacks etc. I sat in the middle of the bench opposite, watching them without trying to be a) obvious and b) darn right rude.

My mind built the scenario without any help from me. They were terrorists and were planning to blow up the tube. What a non-worry would have viewed was two lads sitting listening to music whilst enduring yet another boring, congested tube journey.

Do you worry? I mean, the irrational type like I do.
If you don’t can you let me know how you do this?
If you do, can you also let me know so that I don’t sit here worrying that I am alone?

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